Before this day ends. 

10 Reasons to be grateful:

1. I work two stable jobs—one in a public high school, another one in a Korean academy. I get really exhausted every single day of my life and most of the time I complain about the tediousness of the responsibilities I’ve been taking in both institutions, but I’m happy because this means I still have the energy to use to keep myself productive. I’m thankful that at this point I am significant and useful. 

2. I have great support systems. 

Chiszy

WELS

GEAIS

PLM Friends

APS

Family

All these pictures were taken within a whole year from Jan. 2011 to Nov of the same year. I’m confident to say I have built strong ties with these people, regardless of the inevitable rough ends that I experience with them every once in a while. Because of them, there’s always something new for me to learn. 

3. I am still capable of doing academic and leisure reading. 

I may not have bought books recently due to the very minimal time I allot for shopping, let alone for reading for the sole purpose of keeping myself entertained, but I’m grateful to have found out just recently that over the years that I have been very fond of a variety of genres of fiction and non-fiction alike, I now read with almost an 85-90% accuracy at 330-415 wpm (words per minute). I may not be the best reader, probably not even the best writer out there and never have I even wished to compare myself to anyone in these terms, but I am proud of this, because I have exceeded the standards I have set for myself.

4. This:

This is a feat. I have two jobs, I cram every Friday just to get requirements done and this is something I worked hard for. I have to be sure I would do better next semester, though.

5. Epiphanies

Anger does not and never will solve anything.

Hurt gets the best out of you.

I have done innumerable things out of pride, impulse, hatred, and misery. I do not regret them. I’m even happy that I did those things. You know what they say about testing the water? You may want to avoid it if you could, but unless you dip a finger or probably a toe, you’ll never figure out how cold the water is. Not knowing, when you could have figured it out, is so much worse than not liking what you’ve unearthed. I guess I have already forgiven myself. Otherwise, I would still keep on putting the blame on other people for the mistakes I committed. Forgiveness takes a very vital role in reconciling pain and self-esteem. 

6. I’m currently weighing 58 kilograms and my waistline has reached a whopping 28 inches, the widest it has ever been since I came out of my mother’s cervix. So? I mean, I have sporadic anxieties as to how tight my clothes have turned out on me when I wear them, or how I would have to squeeze myself in when I get on an FX with other passengers, but then, why should I stop myself from eating these things I was never able to eat when I was in college? I used to look at many restaurants in SM Manila and I kept telling myself, “I’m going to eat here soon.” Look at me now, I start looking more like my mom every single day. But I am happy. 

7. D’you want to hear something funny? Listen. I’ll give you the best advice I could squeeze out of all the things I have gone through.

Fuck time.

I know a friend, whose cousin spent so many years dating only one guy. They ended up marrying different people. 

Fuck trust.

Just when you thought you knew the ins and outs of a person’s soul, one significant phenomenon intricately woven by the powers of the universe would tell you that everything you believed in, as in everything, would be wrong.

Fuck pride.

I heard a story a long time ago about a man who died, without being able to get the chance to tell his son how much he loved and missed him and how sorry he was he didn’t acknowledge his grandson. 

By focusing on these meager obstructions in life, we tend to forget things that matter so much more. Isn’t it about time you realize you ought to be happy?

8. It’s amusing, that on my first and last date with this man, ideas start blooming in my mind. Ideas like, building sand castles, blowing bubbles, laying down on a picnic cloth in the middle of a vast greenfield, riding a canoe while letting one’s fingers run through the placid currents of the water, playing cards, and watching a movie on a big screened TV on a rainy evening.

Whatever tomorrow brings, I’m ready. It doesn’t matter if this doesn’t end at the altar, but for now, at least for now, I am happy. 

9. It pays to look back at your goals and aspirations in life. 

I wrote this in January of 2010: 

It’s a bit blurred but, I wrote down three things that I’d like to achieve come 2011. 

1. Go to a regular public school;
2. Go to UP and be a post-grad student;
3. Cut down on liabilities.

All of ‘em—checked.

10. I am alive. I have lived a good live; a life good enough to show you that growing up is fun. I have got to live a little bit longer than this so that more people would know how wonderful it is to add a digit to their age every year. ^_^